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| Jyotsna Siddharth |
To say that activist, writer, and trainer Jyotsna Siddharth is a
powerhouse is to say very little of her. The co-founder of SIVE and founder of Project
Anti-Caste Love, Jyotsna is all about harnessing the power of pedagogies to
make lasting change in intimate spaces. Here is her story.
The Birth of an Activist
I was born in Delhi to Rajni
Tilak, who was probably one of the first active and political Dalit feminists
in Delhi. She raised me as a single parent, as my parents had separated when I
was four or five years old.
For as long as I can remember, my
mother was very active in the Dalit movement as well the feminist movement. She
is quite a relevant figure personally and professionally and she has shaped my
whole understanding of caste and gender. She constantly pushed for advocacy on
caste within the feminist movement while campaigning for the gender issue
within the anti-caste movement, while exploring the boundaries within the
Ambedkarite and feminist movements. Important as it is, I also think that this space
is rarely championed among people.
I spent a lot of my time growing
through these initiatives. After I completed my bachelor’s degree in
social work from rural campus, I did my master’s degree at TISS in Mumbai. I
finished my second master’s degree in anthropology at SOAS, London. I’ve been
writing for a while and my writings have largely centered on caste and gender.
I also work with a research organization, which is part of my professional
engagement where I look at water and sanitation issues. I have been involved in
activism for a while, I am also into theatre, and hope to move into it more
professionally in the days ahead.
Taking on Caste through Love
Project Anti-Caste love is a very
recent project, having begun in 2017. It began from a very personal space. Back
in 2005-2006, I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. It was a
long-distance relationship and he is an upper caste man. I still remember this incident
vividly. When we were about to make things official, I told him that I was from
a lower caste background and I had no idea if it meant anything or not – but if
he had to decide whether to be with me or not, that was the time for him to
decide. I remember how he laughed out loud and told me that he didn’t expect me
to say such things, given that I was to become a social worker. He said it
didn’t matter to him at all. I asked him to talk to his family about it,
nevertheless. He suggested that his parents were liberal and that it wouldn’t
be an issue. A few months later, he shared my caste identity with his mother.
Immediately, it all blew up. His mother was not happy about my identity as
someone from a lower caste, and also went on to say that I didn’t look
beautiful and I had dark skin. She was set against the marriage. I don’t think
he expected this from his mother. It was a blow to him, as well.
It made both of us really think
about our own positions, our caste locations, and despite the fact that I was
more qualified than he was the fact that caste played a role. We decided to
part ways for many reasons, of which this was major.
This became a sort of a stepping
stone for my M. Phil Thesis, where I was trying to understand the impact of
caste on love, romance, relationships, and its nexus with the bigger picture
such as consent, honour killings, desire, bodies and the like. I couldn’t
submit the thesis because I went to SOAS, but the issue has stayed with me for
a while. It is so close and intimate to us, and yet, it is so powerful because
it brings all the debates back to the family and the intimate space. It is easy
for us to go to society and talk about things – but talking to your parents,
lovers, friends, and relatives is all the more challenging. It is a very
important place that requires intervention.
While I was a student, I was on
the committee against sexual harassment at Tata Institute of Social Sciences
and organised many discussions on caste and gender and their interlinkages with
violence and harassment. Several issues kept coming up – we are all
patriarchal, we are all misogynist in different ways and intensities. But that
area was never being addressed because people think it is intimate – but it
certainly is an important space where you can create change. This was where
Project Anti Caste Love came up. I wanted to create space for people to
talk about their intimate experience arguing that romantic experience in India
essentially is a caste experience To bring together people from various caste,
class locations to talk about their intimate experiences,
build allies and solidarities as an approach to eradicate caste system.
Self-care, anyone?
I co-founded SIVE with a friend,
Vidisha Fadescha, who is an artist and curator. SIVE put together a physical
tool kits comprising researched objects and cards that can help us with
self–care so that we remain resilient in constantly contributing. This came out
of a place where we must take care of ourselves. We really need to be kind to
ourselves if we need to do the work we do. The idea of SIVE is to touch upon
softer elements and intersections with mental health. We thought that a lot of
times, what happens is that our personal issues, anxieties and conflicts do
spill over into our work and professional lives. Sometimes, we don’t know what
we are going through and how that impacts our work. This makes it important to
talk about personal relationships and work towards egalitarian, fulfilling, and
deep relationships so that we can focus on the things we actually want to do.
Writing for Change
The Me Too movement in the US and
later in India with Raya’s list was a formative time. I thought what Raya Sarkar
did with her list was powerful, but I didn’t subscribe to the approach because
it’s not something I would do or even consider constructive. Tomorrow,
anybody’s name could go on that, and it is difficult for them to disapprove it.
At that time, I didn’t think it meaningful to give my opinions – I didn’t
really pick a side and I wasn’t sure what to say especially since I didn’t
entirely agree with the intervention. I began writing, and I realized that such
a thing had not happened for the first time. Raya’s action was crucial,
undoubtedly, and took a lot of courage.
The Me Too Movement is in itself
is not new. Women like Bhanwari Devi have called out the system, and have dealt
with severe consequences for doing it. It made me reflect that the whole
movement has been elitist. It is not that what came out of it was not important
– in fact, I am so glad that we had a movement that created space for women to
share. But, what Dalit women go through in their lives, that is something
entirely beyond reckoning. I’ve seen my
mother and other women in their communities – they have gone through so much.
They know that the bureaucracy, the government,and larger society is are not going
to stand with them. The disparities that we have make it harder for them to
mobilize.
I thought that the feminist
movement needs to take strength and derive that from the lives of Dalit women.
This was a movement that resonated with the middle class mentality, and made it
relatable. But when something happens to a woman in a village or a woman from a
slum, or the informal sector, it is harder for us to identify with them because
their narrative is not something they relate with.
On the Stage
When I was still very young, my
aunt and mother were into theatre. My mother had a small theatre group of her
own – Ahawan – but it was my aunt who was more actively into theatre. She wrote
some scripts on Ambedkar and his work with the movement. I was very young then,
so it didn’t really strike me as deeply, but whenthey began to do street
theatre, I engaged in it despite not understanding much.
While at school and college, I
did a bit of theatre, but never pursued it much. When I move back to Delhi, I
was introduced to a feminist theatre group called Pandies. They’ve been around
for 25 years, and it was started by Sanjay Kumar, who is an educator, but also
works with marginalized children. This theatre group is into theatre while also
being active in the activist space. I did two productions with them – The
Balcony (French play adapted into Hindi, Haryanvi and English) and Stories of
Manto.
Though I wanted to pursue theatre
and fine arts, it was not something that could be taken up as a career. I
didn’t have the courage to tell my mother that this was what I wanted to do.
Knowing her struggle and background, it just didn’t seem right to tell her that
I wanted to choose this as my vocation. After she passed away, I realized that
there was nothing more that I had to lose because I had lost the most important
part of my life, so I took the plunge into theatre. I hope to get into it more
actively in the days ahead.
Everyone needs a creative outlet.
For me, it’s theatre, writing, and listening to music. It lets me remain in
touch with myself, and feel what I feel, and enable me to channelize things
that I don’t feel comfortable sharing usually. It’s also important to have
people who love and support you unconditionally. That support system is always
important.
Looking ahead
Back in the 1990s, a group of
people that comprised my mother, Ashok Bharti, Rajeev Singh, Anita Bharti, and
Anita Gujarati, started a monthly newspaper called Abhimooknayak. It had an
active involvement of Shambhu Prasad, Vipla and many others. It was probably
the first newspaper to use the internet, and this truly is saying something
because it was way back in the 1990s. The entire paper was put together to give
voice to Dalit community as an alternative media, relying on the internet for
pictures and information. At the same time, it became a platform for the Dalit
community to voice out their opinions and concerns. An organization based in
Delhi, called the Center for Alternative Dalit Media that was founded by Ashok
Bharti, Rohit Jain and Rajiv Singh backed this. Abhimooknayak began like a
family initiative, but later, it brought a lot of people on board. The
Editorial Board was always in rotation and there was no fixed team in place. It
had a circulation and membership all over the country, with over 2,000
subscribers across the length and breadth of the nation. The newspaper became a
centre in pushing the dialogue within the anti-caste movement and beyond. It
was in publication until 2014-2015 and was discontinued for financial and
administrative reasons.
I am currently looking into ways
to archive this newspaper. My mother showed my friend and collaborator Vidisha
the newspaper at some point, and Vidisha – being an artist and curator, saw
value in it immediately. She suggested that this was a very important source of
archives and should be archived as it had snippets about Dalit art and news
from all over the world in the 1990s, and mapped an alternative history that may
not have presence in the mainstream media. It deserves to be used by people.
